Certain styles might also lead to chafing, depending on the fit on your specific body. Some people find strappy harnesses uncomfortable and prefer ones that feel more like underwear, whereas others find underwear harnesses restrictive and difficult to use. Cobb says that the two-strap styles tend to have much better stability than the single-strap thong, which might make it easier for beginners to control.Ĭomfort is a bit more personal. How comfortable and stable a harness feels to wear and use can either go hand in hand or detract from each other, depending on the quality or type of your harness. Adjustable harnesses might be a better choice if you plan on sharing your harness with a partner or want the option to adjust based on fluctuations in your body size. The style of harness typically informs the type of sizing available jockstraps and thongs with adjustable straps usually come in one or two sizes and can fit a variety of bodies, whereas underwear harnesses are sized like similar articles of clothing. If you like a large dildo, she suggests using a harness with straps you can tighten for support instead. Underwear-style harnesses tend to be very comfortable, but if you want to use a large dildo, they probably won’t provide the support you need. Queen says that which style of strap-on you choose can also depend on the size of your dildo. Consider how your strap-on, both harness and dildo, will jibe with your gender expression. “Some people like thigh harnesses specifically because they want hands-free play but really don’t want to think of the dildo as any kind of phallic object, and having it mounted on their pubis isn’t something they vibe with,” Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations tells SELF. These less common styles may be good options for people concerned about gender dysphoria. Underwear looks like a pair of underwear or boxers.” There are also less common styles, like thigh, chin, or chest harnesses suspender harnesses or strapless strap-ons, which require no harnesses at all. “Thongs a strap around the waist and a strap that goes between the legs and between the butt cheeks. “ look like a classic jockstrap, with straps around the waist and over each butt cheek,” she tells SELF. She notes that some strap-on wearers may want a say in the look of the dildo to ensure they’re comfortable with it in terms of gender expression, but the person receiving should have final say in terms of size and texture.įor people who are more vers or switch, meaning that they enjoy both giving and receiving, Finn suggests a mix-and-match whereby everyone has their favorite harnesses and dildos.Īccording to Ashley Cobb, founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex-toy reviewer, harnesses typically come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear. That way, everyone is comfortable with the strap-on as a whole. “If you’re shopping for a strap with a specific partner in mind, here’s my advice: The top picks the harness, the bottom picks the dildo,” Finn tells SELF. But Babeland sex educator Lisa Finn suggests that sexual partners split the decision. If you decide to go the mix-and-match route, your sex-toy store will likely suggest dildos to pair with your harness. On the other hand, choosing a harness and a dildo separately can mean matchmaking the best fit for your preferences, since there are several factors to consider for each.įor this article, we included both combo kits and individual harnesses. You’ll often find beginner kits that include both to streamline the buying process, which can be excellent and affordable starter options.
When buying a strap-on, you’re typically buying two things: a harness and a dildo. Before we dive into the products themselves, here’s what you need to know about buying a strap-on. To help you decide which strap-on to take for a spin, we rounded up a mix of reviewer favorites, recommendations from sex educators and people who actually use them. Whether you’re new to strap-on sex or not, navigating the many, many options between harnesses and dildos can be overwhelming. You want a harness that fits comfortably and feels secure and a dildo that looks and feels great for whoever is on the receiving end of the strap-on. Like any sex toy, how enjoyable a strap-on will be depends on your and your partner’s personal tastes.
Finding the best strap-on for you is like Goldilocks’s porridge: It’s a bit tricky to find one that’s just right.